just another hiccup.
37 more days until I move back to Lincoln to start my Junior year….
That simple statement stirs up a lot of emotions for me. Am I excited to go back? YES. Am I ready to see my Lincoln family? Absolutely. Do I miss seeing my friends? Everyday. Truth is, I can’t wait to move back to Lincoln. I have a lot to look forward to…I have 15 amazing young women to lead, I have a bible study of my own to return to, my friends will all be in one spot…some even right down the hall, and I have a great opportunity starting at my church in Lincoln when I return. With all of that said, why would I be anything but excited?
However, I’m also worried, scared, confused. For the first time, I’m going into this school year not knowing the outcome. You go through high school knowing that in four short years, you will graduate with a diploma. Then you head to college knowing you will get a degree in what you want to do within the next 4-6 years. At least, that’s what I thought. This year, I am heading into my junior year not knowing if i will return in the spring…and that breaks my heart. I have found an AMAZING community of people…people that all hold a special place in my heart, people that I call family, people that I love deeply, people that love and care about me more than I have ever experienced before. I can’t even begin to imagine saying goodbye to them. Thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.
I’ve become so confused in what God has planned for me. I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life other than working with children. I love kids too much to not be around them…I know that is what I am called to do. I went through a rough freshmen year trying to figure out what to do with my life and finding those friends that constantly support me. I have finally found that. And now I might be ripped from it? I just can’t comprehend why God would do that.
When I first got the news that my major was no longer offered in the state of Nebraska and that I might be switching schools come January, I thought it only affected myself and my family. However, it’s affecting everyone around me. Seeing the devastation in my friend’s faces when I tell them just breaks my heart. I’m not the only one this is affecting.
37 more days until I move back to Lincoln to start my Junior year…
I don’t know what God is doing with this and I know that I just need to let go and let God, but this is really hard for me. I’m just praying for patience…lucky me, my God is the most patient guy I know. I pray for patience in letting this go completely to God, patience in knowing what is planned for me. I know God knows what He is doing…even if I can’t see it. This is just another hiccup in my story.